Green pastures

Man, sometimes I love McMinnville.

I'll pass on the small town drama, but give me a healthy dose of the sun shining on the green grass at about 6pm and I'll be good for a day or two. Being in this town doesn't bring back the fondest of memories or feelings, especially when you're coming back to put someone to rest. However, something so refreshing and healing is to see that I'm not the only one that has changed- many people that used to give me bad feelings have changed for the better. That has to be one of the greatest feelings of closure. It's good to see and hear good stories about where people have chosen to take their lives. I guess I've had an incredibly arrogant attitude toward many of them. I'm glad they've proved my hateful judgments wrong.

Another thing that's nice is that this seems like a completely different world, all together. It's pretty easy for me to forget about the reasons why I haven't enjoyed Knoxville lately when I'm a couple of hundred miles away. The simplicity of this place can be calming. I realize how I cling to unnecessary stress and tension when I'm at school. The world doesn't mandate us to feel that way... we let it happen to ourselves. The past few months I have drug myself through undesired grief, making many situations worse than they are. The first time I've experienced true unrest with relationships. I'm praying that God will deliver a huge dose of love and forgiveness (both for others and myself). And hope. I'm praying for hope for those that I have thrown the towel in on. Hope for them, and hope for a restored and healthier relationship with them one day. He delivers.

I just love my Momma. Swear to it, she's one of the hardest working people that I've ever met. She does huge things in one fell swoop. I'm beginning to realize that my acquired OCD habits have been directly inherited! I don't realize how independent I've allowed myself to be until I'm around her. So much so that the natural gestures from her or a friend to do something very nice makes me uneasy and awkward. Mom makes my bed and cleans up my crap on the floor (that I intend on picking up later). Really? My friend opens the car door for me, and makes other nice gentlemanly gestures. How are you supposed to react? I say 'thank you,' but why in the world does it feel so weird? Sometimes I guess we don't realize how much we put our guard up. I think it could be a bit unnatural.

Anyway, this is a random post. Not that most of mine probably aren't random.

Whoever reads this: if it is raining, enjoy the sound of the raindrops and be calmed by it. If the sun is shining, soak up some extra vit. d for me. If you're bummed out, pray and then do something incredibly distracting. If you're happy, pray for and distract someone that is bummed.

Buenas.

Consume me like a fire...cause I just want something beautiful to touch me

Well, dang.

Near perfect weekend that has been a long time coming. There is nothing more soothing than driving in the sunshine and being consumed by good music. I met Bryson in Nashville for some dinner, after managing to get lost while using a GPS. How, do you ask? That's a great question. I'm talented. Anyway, we ran around Nashville for the rest of the evening and wound up seeing another intern-friend of ours (Shane). Reunions are bien. Night ended with a bonfire at his house...sweet! Who can top meeting new people and having an all-too-involved conversation about Disney movies? That's right. Nobody. Good times, man.

The rest of the weekend was a whirlwind! My friends, Jaime and Caleb came over for a little visit in the noon hours. I don't get to see them enough, ever. Sadly, I feel like we're going to wind up further apart demographically over the next few years. Upside: we'll have an actual income and insta-vacation location :)

Sunday was spent throwing my grandfather a birthday party that I'm sure was the highlight of his week. It was amazing the turn out, and the love shown through friendships was overwhelming. It was so cool to witness how much love you wind up having for each other as time progresses. Like a good wine.

So, sad note. My great aunt and uncle are both super- sick and over the doctor thing. They both wound up in the hospital last week (one in Chatt, and one in McMinn). Way unfortunate is the fact that Nina had a stroke with accompanied complications during surgery and isn't going to make it. Big, fat, huge bummer. However, God has made himself more evident through them than many. They've only been married maximum 15 years and have been the most in-love, involved couple I've ever seen. Both cater to one another and are each other's priority. Absolutely, undeniably, purely beautiful. How I think God intends it to be.

BUT- my little client today did say her ABC's consistently! HUGE deal!!

Lessons learned the past three days: Value the friendships composed of unique connections and relish the few hours you get to spend with them every blue moon (Bryson, Shane and Jaime). Relish them for decades when you only get to see each other at weddings and funerals, and the occasional birthday party (Paul). Give, and give, and give. If enough of us do that, we'll have a healthy relationship or two (Austin and Nina). Be CONSUMED by the fire of love...it's always around us.

They're from a place called Possum Kingdom

Meet Bo. We're getting married. God love it, he looks a bit dopey, but I like it :)

Meet Bear. His voice rocks my world. I mean, for real rocks my world. And, I like that he's named Bear and is from a place called Possum Kingdom.

Meet Seth Bolt. He is one of the guitarists/ mandolinists. He seems pretty legit. I liked him.

I should be in bed right now, as I have a client EEEARLY and long day tomorrow. However, I have to spread the joy to my multitude of followers (steph) of how amazing Needtobreathe is live. The two opening acts, Will Hoge and Matt Hires were a wonderful prelude. I highly suggest trying them out for a spin.

Bear (lead singer) has such a soulful voice, very powerful! No quality lost in this live show, if anything, they sounded awesomer. Oh, and they came and sang Washed by the Water on the balcony about ten feet from us (that could be a stretch, but it wasn't far!) acoustic version. Simply beautiful.

Gotta spread my gratitude to Chad, because he knows how to do things right! Wonderful, thoughtful friend. I appreciate him so much. You know one of those days when things just seem all right? Like all sensory things are working in your favor? Good food, great company with someone you've not spent time with in a while, warm weather, good entertainment, good wine. It was one of those days.

Thank you, Chadwick!

Lethargy with a shot of espresso and Vit. D

Hump day! Gotta love it.

Must share: the little dude/ client I have on Wednesdays is a slow processor; he has some brain damage due to a shunt that causes him to be delayed by a few seconds. He's a wobbly walker, and a little shy, but sharp as a tack. Point to story is that we did some activities today geared toward celebrating his birthday. He doesn't usually offer a lot of comments that aren't elicited by a clinician. But, he opened up his present and card and looked at myself and the other clinician and said "Thank you, and thank you." He made fantastic eye contact and directed his attention flawlessly. This may seem so minute- but it's HUGE. And, it absolutely melted my heart. SO, I challenge you to be so pleased by the seemingly small efforts of gratitude made by people. The way things are today, there are a lot of not-so-genuine displays of thankfulness. Be pleased by the movements of the heart that we seem otherwise immune to :)

A random note: I have recently dropped facebook. I am an addict, and I am not excited by that. I didn't realize until recently how much emotional/ mental overload it causes. I found out way too much overwhelming information in about five minutes. It's a ridic cycle. You find out someone else is married, pregnant, pregnant and not married, at a high-paying job, in jail, blah, blah, blah. I don't think a person is meant to witness a flood of info like that in a span of 24 hours. We don't take time to experience emotions anymore. When we log off, we're done with it. Not too natural, if you ask me. I may or may not succumb and add it back soon. Hopes are to go without for as long as possible. Replace it with having coffee with someone that I need experience by being in their presence.

This weekend should be nice. Hopefully, I'll be able to have dinner with an intern friend Friday night in Nashville. He and I were two of twelve college students that lived in Honduras for a month and a half. Only a couple of them are in close proximity, and luckily he's one of them. He has such an interesting take on things. It's nice to talk to someone who really wants to share the experiences and stories from that time. I feel like most people aren't as entertained by it as I am. Understandably so. I also get to help with a surprise party for my grandfather that is turning 80 :) That's an obvious blessing. I think he'll love this. 8o years of life is certainly something to be happy about in many ways.

Spending time with Chadwick tomorrow at the Needtobreathe concert! Werd. I don't know if I'm looking forward to them as much as I'm looking to spend time with Chad. Love him. Should be an eventful evening.

Enjoy the sunshine!

Herrow

Hello whoever you are, and bless your soul for reading whatever may be transferred from my head through my fingers. 3/4 of the time I can't understand what's I'm thinking, and I most certainly can't communicate it well. Which may or may not be a reason why I've decided to blog. I don't like to write as much as I think, and I can backspace or cut out what I don't want you to see. What a concept?

So how do you begin blogging? "Dear Diary, today Jake finally looked at me" ...

Lucky for you, my love life is even less intriguing than this so you won't hear about it much.

Here would be the most relevant and current information: I'm 22 (feel old), in grad school for speech language pathology (I'm not sure why I did that, either), am a sorry excuse for a Christian (but want to be madly in love with God), and may or may not seem a little off kilter at times (or most of the time). I've seen a lot, and done too much.

I've got this ridiculous tangled web for a brain that doesn't finish a complete thought, but begins many. I love a lot, and I'm a dork. I haven't always liked to learn- but it's a recently acquired trait. It makes life a lot more interesting than I thought it could be. People make my life interesting... like the children I work with in clinic! Little soldiers, they are. You can't help but to feel like you've been given a gift to interact with them, and play a small part in their lives.

My life is in a state of transition, a one that is good and for the better but not so fun. Friendships are waning that I thought were as close to a sibling relationship could get. Contrastively, friendships that I thought had done their do are reigniting. My narrow mind is slowly, but certainly opening. God is working in me, though I sometimes don't feel like I am working with Him. One day in retrospect, I'll see the big idea about this stage in my life. I know it's to serve a bigger purpose, hopefully for others besides myself.

I feel like that's good for now. Thanks for checking this out!