I'll pass on the small town drama, but give me a healthy dose of the sun shining on the green grass at about 6pm and I'll be good for a day or two. Being in this town doesn't bring back the fondest of memories or feelings, especially when you're coming back to put someone to rest. However, something so refreshing and healing is to see that I'm not the only one that has changed- many people that used to give me bad feelings have changed for the better. That has to be one of the greatest feelings of closure. It's good to see and hear good stories about where people have chosen to take their lives. I guess I've had an incredibly arrogant attitude toward many of them. I'm glad they've proved my hateful judgments wrong.
Another thing that's nice is that this seems like a completely different world, all together. It's pretty easy for me to forget about the reasons why I haven't enjoyed Knoxville lately when I'm a couple of hundred miles away. The simplicity of this place can be calming. I realize how I cling to unnecessary stress and tension when I'm at school. The world doesn't mandate us to feel that way... we let it happen to ourselves. The past few months I have drug myself through undesired grief, making many situations worse than they are. The first time I've experienced true unrest with relationships. I'm praying that God will deliver a huge dose of love and forgiveness (both for others and myself). And hope. I'm praying for hope for those that I have thrown the towel in on. Hope for them, and hope for a restored and healthier relationship with them one day. He delivers.
I just love my Momma. Swear to it, she's one of the hardest working people that I've ever met. She does huge things in one fell swoop. I'm beginning to realize that my acquired OCD habits have been directly inherited! I don't realize how independent I've allowed myself to be until I'm around her. So much so that the natural gestures from her or a friend to do something very nice makes me uneasy and awkward. Mom makes my bed and cleans up my crap on the floor (that I intend on picking up later). Really? My friend opens the car door for me, and makes other nice gentlemanly gestures. How are you supposed to react? I say 'thank you,' but why in the world does it feel so weird? Sometimes I guess we don't realize how much we put our guard up. I think it could be a bit unnatural.
Anyway, this is a random post. Not that most of mine probably aren't random.
Whoever reads this: if it is raining, enjoy the sound of the raindrops and be calmed by it. If the sun is shining, soak up some extra vit. d for me. If you're bummed out, pray and then do something incredibly distracting. If you're happy, pray for and distract someone that is bummed.
Buenas.
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