By nature, I'd like to run as far away as possible. In many ways I have. What a sense of relief when you stick around and through it. Yeah, callousness arises and things seem much less appealing. It's much more dramatic and exhilarating to run from a situation when you are at your emotional peak of anger, pain, and confusion. It makes the retelling of the stories much more interesting "well, she did this and I told her to bite me and never call me again." The stories that end with "yeah it was crap, but we came to a level of reconciliation or are able to maintain a level of civility" aren't near as exciting. However, those are probably the most peaceful situations. Maybe sometimes it takes us a super long time to get over that pain, anger, and confusion. Maybe sometimes there is a continual residual effect of those emotions. And it sucks so bad to deal with it- but it probably has the most fulfilling outcome. Maybe not in the form of a golden friendship, but in the form of personal strenght.
I know I'm just a student, and I have few wise stories. But, I've experienced my first long period of discomfort. The luster is beginning to fade- which is fine. It's fine because when the shine fades, it reveals truth. Truth is much more pure and easy to deal with than having to first work to wear down the shine to get to the meat of things. It's sad to realize that some of the people you're around are polished with an exuberance, and are at the core, so rusted and scared to reveal themselves. We're all that person more times than none. What bondage? Yuck. But there is something so beautiful about the humility of a raw, broken person. So for that, I am grateful for the polish to fade. I'm much less attractive when I'm real to those who are still satisfied solely with shine. It's hard to accept that my friend repertoire decreases when I become this person. But how pure do those relationships become that you maintain? What kind of example are you setting for that person that is now put off by your rust? When they're ready, it will no longer be foreign. It's REAL. It's nice to see real in this world.
So, I challenge us to strip ourselves of this polish. Be raw. Be broken. Be real. Let God offer his truth through us, His humility.
Things are on the upswing. I say this past year has been rough, and it has. Thank God that these things have happened. It's so awesome, because when you reveal brokenness to those not scared of truth- they help put you back together. How beautiful. Thank you for you who have been my adhesive, to you who have dealt with my qualms, to you who have been my support. Let me do that for you.
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