Ideally...
I wouldn't feel like a Debbie Downer right now and wish the following:
1) That school didn't exist anymore- or at least the horrible anxiety I have because of it would disappear
2) That my supervisors didn't expect me to spontaneously know everything and make me feel like an idiot because I don't (maybe I wish that they would actually TEACH me something)
3) That I knew what the crap I was doing with my clients and seemed more confident, even if I don't know what's going on
4) That I hadn't packed my schedule so tightly that I pretty much have no time to have fun and cut loose a little
5) That I felt skinnier and more tan
6) That I felt happier...or something- not just like I'm going through the motions
7) That I had some awesome man to hug me at the end of the day
8) That I had tougher skin
9) I felt completely happy alone with me and God
10) That I could hike or do something physically exhausting with extra time that I don't have
11) That summer was over
12) That it was May 2011 and I could graduate and go somewhere else for a while
13) That next weekend would come fast, at the very least
And that is about it :) Sorry if you feel depressed now.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sreepy
Hiya.
I'm exhausted and possibly incoherent right now. And, blah! I feel gross. I ate a veggie burger (bad idea #1) then did a Jillian workout (bad idea #2) at 10 pm (seriously?). Maybe I'll be glad of it tomorrow :)
I haven't blogged in a while, mainly because I have literally been going nonstop since the last time I blogged. For the most part, life has been redundant. Work, clients, class. However, there have been some exciting things to go on of recent:
#1- My friend Holly got hitched and I was a bridesmaid. Woot woot!! It was in a beautiful, beautiful Methodist church. My question, why don't the Churches of Christ have stained glass?! Priceless comment from my grandmother in regards for her 23 year old granddaughter being single, prompted by this occasion: "Always the bridesmaid, never the bride." She's always been encouraging :)
#2- I have made some new friends at work, aging from 6 mos-6 yrs. They're awesome. However, I did stick my hand in poop last week checking for a "dirty." Surprise...dirty! Just to let you know, I'm not dumb enough to stick my hand too far down. This stuff just came too far up. TMI, I know. Sorry
#3- There has been recent familial reconciliation. I've regained five cousins, four of them under the age of 13 and the other being their mom. A. maz. ing. I realized that maybe I can expect things to get better sometimes instead of thinking things will stay the same/ bad. Now I have some of my family back :)
#4- One of my wheel bearings is shot to pieces. I got home and my dad literally said "Your wheel is seriously about to fall off." I could feel it wobbling the last time I tried to drive. Father's Day came at a very appropriate time. God love the man, he's seeing that it gets fixed.
#5- Since my bearing is shot, I'm driving Mom's Envoy. Bam!! Hello big vehicle that's fun to drive, but nauseating to fill up with gas!!
#6- I'm working with a 70 something year old man who has been on a feeding tube for a year. Hasn't tasted food...IN A YEAR. Ponder that thought for a second, and then thank God if you are able to eat and enjoy the sensation of taste. Anyway, I've gotten to witness this man light up at the thought of improvement and the ability to eat a milkshake :) He was even ecstatic about the thought of pureed pancakes. Gross, one would usually think. Optimism and appreciation, this man has!
Now I'm anticipating the arrival of Ms. Stephanie Ammons and a trip to a cabin far away from here. Yay for good times to come!! I'm loving things right now!! My summer isn't much of a typical summer, but I'm one semester closer to graduating. Sadly, whatever tan I had...I've lost.
I'm exhausted and possibly incoherent right now. And, blah! I feel gross. I ate a veggie burger (bad idea #1) then did a Jillian workout (bad idea #2) at 10 pm (seriously?). Maybe I'll be glad of it tomorrow :)
I haven't blogged in a while, mainly because I have literally been going nonstop since the last time I blogged. For the most part, life has been redundant. Work, clients, class. However, there have been some exciting things to go on of recent:
#1- My friend Holly got hitched and I was a bridesmaid. Woot woot!! It was in a beautiful, beautiful Methodist church. My question, why don't the Churches of Christ have stained glass?! Priceless comment from my grandmother in regards for her 23 year old granddaughter being single, prompted by this occasion: "Always the bridesmaid, never the bride." She's always been encouraging :)
#2- I have made some new friends at work, aging from 6 mos-6 yrs. They're awesome. However, I did stick my hand in poop last week checking for a "dirty." Surprise...dirty! Just to let you know, I'm not dumb enough to stick my hand too far down. This stuff just came too far up. TMI, I know. Sorry
#3- There has been recent familial reconciliation. I've regained five cousins, four of them under the age of 13 and the other being their mom. A. maz. ing. I realized that maybe I can expect things to get better sometimes instead of thinking things will stay the same/ bad. Now I have some of my family back :)
#4- One of my wheel bearings is shot to pieces. I got home and my dad literally said "Your wheel is seriously about to fall off." I could feel it wobbling the last time I tried to drive. Father's Day came at a very appropriate time. God love the man, he's seeing that it gets fixed.
#5- Since my bearing is shot, I'm driving Mom's Envoy. Bam!! Hello big vehicle that's fun to drive, but nauseating to fill up with gas!!
#6- I'm working with a 70 something year old man who has been on a feeding tube for a year. Hasn't tasted food...IN A YEAR. Ponder that thought for a second, and then thank God if you are able to eat and enjoy the sensation of taste. Anyway, I've gotten to witness this man light up at the thought of improvement and the ability to eat a milkshake :) He was even ecstatic about the thought of pureed pancakes. Gross, one would usually think. Optimism and appreciation, this man has!
Now I'm anticipating the arrival of Ms. Stephanie Ammons and a trip to a cabin far away from here. Yay for good times to come!! I'm loving things right now!! My summer isn't much of a typical summer, but I'm one semester closer to graduating. Sadly, whatever tan I had...I've lost.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
His plan
So I know some amazing people. One person just happens to be my supervisor. We kid a lot, she just has a fantastic personality. Generally, I would be intimidated by someone in my field that has a doctorate and who is basically my boss. But, she just has this air about her that speaks gentleness and respect. Anyway, she's been going through some serious stuff. Her daughter, two years younger than me, has just had serious neurosurgery. Her son is getting married in less than a month. Two months from the date of her daughters surgery is her sons wedding. Talk about a whirlwind of emotions.
But, the point in saying all of this is to let you know how inspirational she has been. I don't know her well, but she seems as gathered now as she did a month ago. She said that it has been an emotional roller coaster, going from being angry to feeling blessed. She spoke of how powerful prayer is, how powerful the prayer was in the waiting room while her daughter was in surgery when at least twenty people from church gathered for support. Evidently the girl was walking the line, it was close, and it was serious. She said that there is no logical reason why things were successful other than the power of Him. She reflected on how the sequence of events beforehand were so perfect for the preparation of the situation- how if things had stayed how they were six months previous to her daughters diagnosis, the circumstances would have made things much more devastating. How intricate?
It awesome to frequently do some serious reflecting. How has every situation we've encountered on this walk of life fallen into place because the pieces fit together perfectly? The pieces usually fit together perfectly because they're not following our guidance, but His. The ridiculous situations I've gotten myself into I have made it out of by being nudged by Him, in the opposite direction of what I planned. Same for my supervisor and her daughter.
Things will happen, bad things. And we'll fight against the hand of God when we feel we know best. But, the most amazing reality is that He is forever more powerful than we are, and He has the final say :)
Psa. 29:10-14
"This is what the Lord says: "Babylon will be powerful for seventy years. After that time I will come to you, and I will keep my promise to bring you back to Jerusalem. I say this because I know what I am planning for you." says the Lord. "I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future. Then you will call my name. You will come to me and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will search for me. And when you search for me with all your heart, you will find me! I will let you find me..."
But, the point in saying all of this is to let you know how inspirational she has been. I don't know her well, but she seems as gathered now as she did a month ago. She said that it has been an emotional roller coaster, going from being angry to feeling blessed. She spoke of how powerful prayer is, how powerful the prayer was in the waiting room while her daughter was in surgery when at least twenty people from church gathered for support. Evidently the girl was walking the line, it was close, and it was serious. She said that there is no logical reason why things were successful other than the power of Him. She reflected on how the sequence of events beforehand were so perfect for the preparation of the situation- how if things had stayed how they were six months previous to her daughters diagnosis, the circumstances would have made things much more devastating. How intricate?
It awesome to frequently do some serious reflecting. How has every situation we've encountered on this walk of life fallen into place because the pieces fit together perfectly? The pieces usually fit together perfectly because they're not following our guidance, but His. The ridiculous situations I've gotten myself into I have made it out of by being nudged by Him, in the opposite direction of what I planned. Same for my supervisor and her daughter.
Things will happen, bad things. And we'll fight against the hand of God when we feel we know best. But, the most amazing reality is that He is forever more powerful than we are, and He has the final say :)
Psa. 29:10-14
"This is what the Lord says: "Babylon will be powerful for seventy years. After that time I will come to you, and I will keep my promise to bring you back to Jerusalem. I say this because I know what I am planning for you." says the Lord. "I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future. Then you will call my name. You will come to me and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will search for me. And when you search for me with all your heart, you will find me! I will let you find me..."
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