Hello!

Hi. S'beenawhile.

A few months have passed since I last posted anything. I totally forgot about blogging. Welcome to my head.

Five minutes ago I was going to say a bunch of junk about what was going on- kind of Debbie Downer-ish. Within the gap of then and now I have decided that I'm redic for thinking the way I do.

I was going to complain about being over school- really? I chose to be in the program, and I'll be lucky to get the degree. Luckier than a lot- what's to be sad about that? So, I have to work. Quit being arrogant.

I am single- why should I complain about that? I want someone so bad I can feel it in my bones- but I could be 23 and raising a 5 yr. old like my mom did, or divorced like many of my classmates have. But where am I now on these thoughts? I'm single, but I have HUGE hope. I have the knowledge that God is taking care of the situation as I type- that at some point I will have the opportunity to start a relationship anew and make better choices. I can, if only once more, enjoy the butterflies and big goofy grin that accompanies a new "crush." I can look forward to things.

I am broke. I am broke, and I am in debt. But I have low rent, loans, and supportive parents. I don't have huge financial burdens (yet). I will also hopefully have job opportunities come May. That's all in God's hands. Though I have no money, in reality, I have fewer worries and burdens than do most people.

I'm 23 and I have the world at my fingertips. I have food, family, education, opportunity. I'm not a 9 yr. old trying to figure out why my parents have divorced, or an aimless teenager (anymore). Instead, I'm blessed. Not because I'm special, deserve it, or have earned it. Only because God's pretty cool. Maybe I'm here to share my love to those who are burdened with the situations I talked about. To listen. I finally figured out that my life isn't good because it is owed me. It's because I'm meant to use my blessings and experiences to help other pepole. Not to feel sorry for myself but to offer myself.